I like this poem a LOT! First of all you think 'it's all black now' might mean the landscape after a prairie fire, (I didn't read the title before reading the poem) and I love the description of 'glowing dust towns'. It's not overwritten; someone else might have written something akin to 'dust towns glowing in the dark' thus hammering the point. Overwriting is a common mistake, but not here. Less is more. I feel restraint has been applied in this poem. I also like the phrase 'keeps me up and untouchable'. It's graceful and somewhat different. Gives a sense of distance. Not having read the poem's title, the phrase had a multitude of meanings. Up emotionally? Untouchable in terms of being away from everyone? Is the speaker running away from a life, or a person? Or does he feel invincible? (Of course the question is answered in the next line). I like the way the love story layer is introduced in the final third. Suddenly the previous stanzas are informed by this information. Nicely paced. I had the benefit of reading this poem not having read the title first, and it was better for this. It was a great moment when I read 'The treble-7 hastens towards its own distant place' because suddenly another layer of meaning was revealed, but prior to this my interpretation had been free - ie prairie fires. So for that reason I would change the title to something that did not overtly refer to flying or night flights, but something that is a covert reference which becomes clear when the treble-7 is mentioned. What's the white skytrail from a plane called? Or anything else to do with planes/flying that's not immediately obvious.